I have had a few attempts at internet dating over the last 6-7 months and found myself getting so anxious and frustrated with the whole process that I gave up each time after only a few days. After talking it over with a few people, I decided to give it one more try, accepting that I will probably have to meet a lot of people to find the ones that might be suitable and that I would probably need to be a bit more patient with these people that don’t know me or what I’ve been through to get to this point.
So I posted a profile and went searching and found a couple of people I wouldn’t mind chatting to. The first contact request I sent was accepted and we had our first chat on Thursday night. Keep in mind it’s been over 8 years since I’ve done this, so I’m still getting the hang of finding things to say and talk about. But I must have done okay, because it lasted about an hour and he was willing to chat to me again on Saturday night. This time it lasted nearly two and a half hours and we got on to things that were quite personal for both of us. I was in tears at one point, I think because I felt so overwhelmed at being able to connect with someone again after so long.
Since then I have found it hard to think about much else other than our conversation and what he is like in real life and when I will get to chat to him again. I’m doing that girl thing of over-analysing things that were said and worrying about him not wanting to chat to me again, even though he said he was looking forward to chatting again.
It’s a challenge for me not to think too far ahead or try to imagine what might happen next and just stay in the moment. I have a history of jumping in too quickly and then regretting it afterwards, so I’m trying hard not to do that again, but old habits die hard, especially when you think you might have found what you’re looking for. I’m learning to just take it one day at a time.
